Lights Out, Candle On

🎧 Beam Me Up -- Forever loved and missed by your A-Team.

Good King Harry

When Prince Harry, Duke of Sussex, was enjoying a secret romance with Meghan Markle, who would later become his wife and the Duchess of Sussex, they probably used the most ingenious tricks to escape notice. Imagine how difficult it must have been to only share the delicious glow of finding love with a select, trusted few? 

As a species, we tend to want to shout our happiness from the rooftops (or couch jump on live tv) and share our delight. The first year is when all the bonding chemicals are flying around and we're at our most stupid. We overlook flaws, are sure everything will work out exactly the way we want, that we've found The One, our soulmate. Lucky us. Wanting to tell everyone about our giddy, growing joy, certain that everyone shares our delight and is breathlessly waiting to hear every detail, is excruciatingly natural. Even the cynic that dwells in my crunchy exterior shell relaxes, and does want to hear about it, because there's something magical about love. My gut also tells me there's an instinctual 'laying our claim' aspect at work. 

Science has proven a lot about how and why we fall in love. Through the lens of perpetuating the species: deep within us is a natural instinct to find the most potentially successful mate, as protector, provider, and partner; ensuring offspring are the fittest and protecting the young is vital. The animal world doesn't think about it and we are, after all, animals.

We have evolved, of course, and love takes many forms. Societies across the globe have come to the understanding that procreation, thanks to the copulation of a sperm carrier and an owner of eggs, does not define who we love or why we're here. Reproduction is no longer caveman driven, and some people chose to live valuable child-free lives, leaving the business of populating the world to others. Marriage as we know it today remains a socitetal construct. What began as a means of power and the transferring of property, morphed into a way for religious leaders to exert control over the masses, and somewhere along the way, we attached the fairytale vision of marrying for true love. 

While there are still too many places where these truths aren't yet respected it's easy to forget humans are in the midst of evolving. If you need evidence humans can be simply awful creatures, hop onto social media. Leaps in technology are a Pandora's box and we continue to struggle with what blasted out. Social media has real life consequences. Online disinformation and hate campaigns have long gone beyond regular people succumbing to nasty mob mentality. Keyboard warriors, secure in the knowledge they won't be held accountable for cruelty in the way they might in the physical world, have much to answer for. Shattered lives, destroyed families, incinerated careers, suicides and murders, senseless deaths and the negative affects on democracies around the world are undeniable.

Fully aware of this, many are working for change, including a man and a woman who have suffered greatly: Harry and Meghan. In the aftermath of the queen's passing, their foundation's website Archewell simply bears his tribute to Her Maj. Once the mourning period is over, access to their news and causes should be available again. In the meantime, I highly recommend reading their Wiki page for the truth about what this couple is trying to achieve with their platform. 

All Meghan and Harry did was fall in love, get married, and make a family. They found their work environment untenable, put their mental health and family's saftey first, and made changes. That they are thriving seems to enrage many. It's unfathomable to me. Facts matter, and the reality is the media has never given them a fair shake. Outright lies are challenged, and won, in court. The court of public opinion is a different story. We, the collective, have already been influenced by bad faith journalists. I didn't need Oprah to shine the light on how unfairly the couple were treated from the beginning to recognize the racism, but that interview was an eye opener for lots of folks. That people form such a negative opinion of two strangers and think it happened organically is scary. As is the power behind it.

Twitter analytics firm @BotSentinel has exposed a well-organised campaign against Meghan, Duchess of Sussex. 70% of hateful posts about her comes from just 83 Twitter accounts with a combined reach of 17m users. https://t.co/RWpjqct335

— Ian Fraser (@Ian_Fraser) September 14, 2022

Some of the trends on Twitter since the monarch died last week are obscene. The House of Windsor has a real problem on their hands and it's not because Meghan and Harry aren't being respectful and bending over backwards to honour the late Queen and support the new King. Whatever else they may be (and I find them inspiring and delightful) the Duke and Duchess are a Unit: in love, protective of each other, determined and dignified. The royal powers that be have bungled their dealings with the Sussexes this week, as they have from the start. More people are noticing. One thing that many find particularly egregious is denying a veteran of two combat tours the right to wear his uniform when he pays respects to his grandmother and former Commander-in-Chief. Now it seems they are walking it back. Diana's spirit must be rapturous. She called him 'Good King Harry' as a child and today  it's trending. This isn't the kind of PR Charles III would hope for at the start of his reign.

Recommended further reading: Berkman Klein Center for Internet and Society at Harvard University. 

Long Weekend Middle Child

The following was previously published on another site on September 4, 2022.

Poor Sunday. Sunday always gets the least attention of the long weekend days. Saturday is wildly celebrated. Monday is sadly lamented. Does anybody give the middle child, Sunday, it's proper due? No, they do not. Sunday is perfection on a long weekend. We should all rejoice in these glorious days, when no #sundayscaries are to be spoken of, but we all just tra-la-lah along, doing our thing. Stop. Feel it? Take an ahh moment, for Sunday is the Holy Grail, and you are smack dab in the middle. Enjoy! 

How is it already the fourth day of September? Elle Magazine has their September horoscope out, and I'm here to tell Elle to both back it up and peek over my shoulder to check if they're spying on me. It's not paranoia if they are watching you.

Alright, so it's dead on. Skeptics say you can read anything into a printed horoscope, but I'm a strong believer in signs. We just have to be open to recognizing and accepting them. This felt like a shoutout from the universe that I'm on the right track. Maybe horoscopes are just the placebo effect. Doesn't matter to me. I'm happily going with it. Let's just make one thing clear. I gots integrity, okay?

What I also gots is a funky problem with my eyes. It started a couple of weeks ago in my right eye and flared like hell last week. Years ago, I had a tumour behind my right eye that caused proptosis. It was kinda traumatic, and NGL, the pain was worse than childbirth or migraines. For months I had decreased vision, a delightful Gorgonesque appearance, a battery of tests, surgery, and finally, regularly scheduled cortisone shots behind my eye. Yeah, he would pull my eyelids back and go in behind the eyeball. You haven't sweated getting a needle until you see it coming in hot, right up close like that. Since then, anyone could give me a jab in the arm. I'm just like, "Go ahead and stick me, I don't GAF. "

Circling back around, it's why I'm hyper vigilant when something feels off in the peepers. These aren't the same symptoms. I thought it was a stie. Then I wondered if it was pink eye. Yesterday, I grudgingly spent $24 on Polysporin antibiotic drops. Don't believe what we tell kids. They burn like Lucifer's spit. Today it's in both eyes and it feels awful. When my daughter got home from work she said I looked wayyy worse. I tried not to feel ugly, but maannn, I am ooogly right now. Currently, I'm waiting to see if Benadryl will help. I'm also a tad foolish because I'm stubbornly refusing to let it interfere with my refound love: contests.

Like any other hobby you may pick up, contesting can be overwhelming when the bug first bites you. Once you start, it's easy to get into the weeds. Don't Go Into The Weeds. Nothing good happens there. When I went through a "phase" years ago, I won quite a few nifty prizes and made some friends. Life threw some things at me, and I had to give it up, but now it's #metime all the time. I answer to none. It is easy to get discouraged. Patience is key, but damn, I'm waiting for that first win like:

There's a very nice community out there for anyone who's interested. There are etiquette rules to follow and it's good to know what flies or will land like a rock. For the most part, contesters are welcoming and celebrate others' wins almost as much as their own. They come from a diverse pool of humanity. Statistically, men enter contests more than women and I've seen empirical evidence of that for what it's worth. So, stereotypes be damned. This is a shoutout of thanks to all those who have been kind, shared, referred for bonuses, and do the hard work running reputable sites. I appreciate you!

As for building the socials - whew! Even someone hidden away in a cave like Moi knows how women are treated on the internet. All I can say is I'm very happy I'm not lookin' for love. Hats off to those who are trying to meet people and date online. I applaud you.

Note: I'm in a battle with Blogger called EMBEDTHEDAMNVIDEO and it's not going well. Don't let that stop you from enjoying two of my favourite things:

Lizzo & The Aristocats! Really, you have to go watch that video.

The DMs. Lorty, lorty, lorty. For the most part, I do what common sense dictates, chuckle, and carry on my merry way. Yet every now and then, my mischeivous side SCREAMS, "Why ignore it when you can shut him down with a l'il poke???" Also, I'm 100% that (sarcastic) bitch.

That answer deters most quite quickly.

However, Sebastiano è un ragazzo tenace, si?

Oh, my. I think he's using Google Translate. Maybe he wants to make me Principessa of his Tuscan villa? I've relocated for lesser men.