Have you ever been told, "YOU should write a book!" I bet you have. Did you think, "Shuuuure. It can't be hard. I'll get right on that . . . " as the molten sarcasm sap tried to explode from your pores? Shocking, I know, but having been through some things and possessing a modicum of writing ability will not do the trick. Whatever the trick actually IS escapes me today.
This has been the least productive day of writing since I decided the time had finally come to settle in and give it a real go. Maybe my own mind is blocking me. I've been in some bad internal places the past few days. Weirdly, the passing of Queen Elizabeth II yesterday has made it worse, triggering feelings about my mom. Hard. Since she died, pictures of Her Maj began to morph in with my memories and emotions, especially of Mum's quick decline. With each news story on the monarch's health that I read over the last year, another fierce feeling of protectiveness would wash over me. Being aware it's classic transference for my feelings orphans helps identify it. Dealing with it is another story. I'm not sobbing, but I am hurting in that deja vu way living with grief makes us experts at. Of sweeter memory, it was also something about their smiles, lighting up a room. I miss it. Today, I can't even pretend to write a book. I'll sit with this strange grief soup for a bit.
Giving myself that permission, and acknowledging my concentration is shot, finally led to surfing. Not the healthy, soak up the sun and surf, gnarly kind. The wicked kind. The big WWW. You know.
The result after having hours sucked away? Not much. Except, now I need to BUY THIS:
And whip up some Beef & Stout delish in the kitsh:
Because lordty, lordty, I can't think of a reasonable argument to stop me. Mancub will think it's hilarious and that's enough motivation for Moi to make a stupid craft. Maybe we can create them together on the sly, then force Kitten to wear them to work and school? Heheh. That cheered me up.
Have a great weekend. Stay safe and make the most of where you're at.
If you can, buy cute drinks.
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| Mandoquerita |